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Originally Posted by Nicole28
I'm sorry that you're hurting.
Did your biological mother make a verbal promise, or is there legal documentation of some kind that makes your adoption a CLOSED adoption?
I am beginning to come to term with the reality that my biological mother is most likely not searching for me, and she probably never will. I don't like knowing this, of course, but is a step towards moving past a lot of the hurt and trying to heal.
To some, "their word is their bond," you know? A verbal promise is as good as a binding, legal document. I can't imagine that the only statement regarding your adoption was made verbally in the form of a "promise," so I wonder if there was more to it - some kind of signed, legal document regarding the privacy of your biological mother perhaps.
I hope that you can heal - maybe writing is like therapy for you? I keep a journal and I know that writing can often help.
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Thanks for writing Nicole! NY law mandates that adoptions shall remain closed so that may be why she doesn't try. Plus as another member has reminded me our bmoms are older, and may not even KNOW about reunion registries. OR she may just want to forget. I AM trying to come to terms with this but it is almost akin to how I feel about my bmom's decision to adopt me out at all - I know in my head that it probably seemed the "best", the most rational decision for both of us - to her - but in my heart there's a little girl crying out to her mommy "Why wouldn't you keep me? I wanted YOU!". I guess the trick is to stay rational, not emotional. Hugs - PJ/MJM