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I appreciate all of the wonderful replies I have received. It gives me so many different points of view & that really helps. I'm still thinking about the right path for me to take so please keep the ideas coming.
I have been searching this forum the past few days & a couple of adoptees had expressed needing to tackle their relationship with their birthmother/birthfather before the relationship with their birthsiblings. That is a big fear of mine too. I can see how this would be, as an adoptee, you know that you have birthparents, but it's not a definate that you have birthsiblings so I can see how it would be natural to put that relationship at the forefront of your mind. I feel such a connection to my sister even though I don't know her & a great need to get to know her. I just feel as though she is a part of me & I a part of her. I wish I knew how she felt or what she was looking for.
Does she just want info or something more like a relationship?
I wish I had the answers & I do realize whatever I choose I will have to take hold of my actions with full responsbility & no regrets. I would never contact my sister & ask her to keep it a secret from my mother when she made contact with her. That would put my sister in an awful position & I would imagine when you start a relationship with your birthmother you would want to be open & honest. Not keeping secrets.
Someone had mentioned that my mom wouldn't have told me if she didn't want me to know. Well she has said a few times since I found my sister that she wishes she never had told me & that if she knew I was going to search she wouldn't have. My mom is so stubborn & I don't see her coming around to the idea of contact ever. My sister will have to make the contact & then possibly if she is found she will open up, but until then she is not giving in. I wish she could find her & that would open my moms heart up to a relationship. I pray she finds her & that in turn opens the door for our relationship.
When I posted my story I felt so vulnerable, but everyone who has replied has made me feel at ease & I thank you for that. I think of my sister often & wonder if she has read this & thought it was about her. I feel such a connection that I feel that if she read this she would just know, but i guess that's just in dreams.
Thanks.
Angel
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