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Originally Posted by Oceans
Also, Crick: If you weren't in a F2A situation, would you have chosen an OA assuming the bmom wasn't a walking stereotype, etc?
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Hard to say. I think I would consider a Semi Open, not all that sure I'd do an open open though. I don't know that I'm the right kind of person for it simply because I don't like the microscopic feeling of things in general.
"Am I doing this right, is bmom okay with me parenting x or y way?" Meaning..kind of being out there for someone else to observe and even critique my parenting. Not that it would be anything the bmom would do at all, I just know how I am as a person and I don't like that feeling. I don't do eggshells...kwim? I can't stand that type of tip toe stuff and being forced to do so, I just don't think that's my way. That doesn't mean I'm right or that it would be that way at all, just means I don't think I personally would do it. And I know people might then say "oh, she can't handle it" and maybe not, but I still don't think it means I'm an inferior parent as some might assume.
When we first started the adoption process I said "NO WAY" to any type of open adoption because I was truly misinformed. Co-parenting, bad Lifetime movies blah blah blah visions were very present for me and I had no desire to consider it. Obviously I've learned a lot here and over the years so I DO see benefits of it and I DO see how it works for others. That said...I still think I'd be more of a Semi open/contact.