[BrandyHagz]

I think that Crick brings up an important point - we can all only speak of our own experiences.

Take for example, my own open adoption as an adoptee. While I am so happy to have had access to information that I see adoptees post about here on the forums pretty frequently, it wasn’t all roses and sunshine.

There are times, which I can recall, that my birth mother (and her family) let me down and there is no doubt in my mind that my daughter Marni, whom I have an open relationship with, will also have those memories as well.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer (and I’ve said this a million times) there are just different answers for different circumstances. For some, that answer is openness and for others it’s closed adoption.

Now – the question “Do we push for OA blah blah whatever she said” and my answer is yes. Provided “we” is the adoption community as a whole (including professionals) – I do think that professionals ‘push’ OA to adopting parents as a way to quickly adopt. I do think that professionals ‘push’ OA to placing parents as a way to make it sound ‘easier’.

So yes – OA is ‘pushed’ - and I don’t guess I’d necessarily have a problem with that – if the education and resources to support OA were pushed just as hard. But they aren’t – so here we are.

I don’t pretend to think OA is the answer for everyone. I think it’s one of the possible answers available – along with closed, international, foster adoption, childlessness, surrogacy, fertility treatments or any other type family dynamic decision.

We have the right to choose what works best for our families. If that choice were taken away (say, like back in the 50’s and 60’s – sound familiar?) then what were left with is going from one extreme to another.

I’m all about empowering people to make fully informed decisions – whatever the topic is. You start down a real slippery slope when you take away a persons right to choose…