[Oceans]

I blogged about this this AM and I am still a bit heated up over it so I will try to stay cool. I know the closed era worked for some adoptees but it did not work for this one. And yes, I am speaking as an adoptee – not as a birthparent (for the most part).

Is OA truly better for a child: I don’t know but studies seem to suggest…

Is Closed truly harmful for a child: It was for this child. Not necessarily my long term day-to-day emotional health. However, it has deprived me of a relationship with my father that I would have liked to have had. A comfortable relationship. One where I don’t have to worry about what I say or what I do for fear of upsetting a reunion that is today 15 years in the making…Yes… We both still worry…

Are parents involved in an OA more "worthy" or viewed as the only ones having their children's best interests at heart better than those who are not in an OA? I don’t know. They certainly carry more responsibility to maintain an outside relationship which is why it can be so hard at times (JMO btw: I only have experience with closed)

Do we push more for OA and if so...what are the main reasons we do so? I do because both of my experiences as a closed era adoptee and bmom were NOT good. I admit I'm sometimes jealous of those who have OA’s (adoptees and bithmoms) and I KNOW its not the cake walk you read about. At times I think it may be harder but it does go back to my personal experience which is not one I would recommend to anyone.

Thanks for asking...

Edited to add: Push for OA no matter what? Ehhh That's tough because I do agree everyone's situation is different. I'm just saying my experience with CA wasn't wonderful... Everyone needs to evalute there own ability to commit, personal beliefs around OA, and of course any safety issues (abuse, drugs, etc)