[Saya]

Isabo - as a mama with a daughter from Guatemala and a frequenter of that board, I do remember that thread, though I don't think I posted. I think it was pretty eye-opening for me about just these kinds of issues. I'm so sorry it hurt you so much. A.com can be a difficult board sometimes, with so many different points of view. I love the Guat board - the people there have been amazingly supportive of me through some really hard times. But I think threads like that are indicative of this larger problem that in IA potential adoptive parents aren't asked (usually) to think about what a expectant mother considering adoption is going through.

But I guess my question for Isabo et al regarding this thread - and this is one I have struggled with - is what is the difference between that thread and me simply saying "I want to adopt a second child." My husband and I are starting the process to adopt number 2, domestically. We (OK me really) are much more politicized about this this time around, and it is important that I know any woman who decides to choose me as the mother of their baby gets all the support, counseling and resources she needs, and that she is not coerced in any way. But aren't I at some level saying that I hope that some woman decided to relinquish her child to me? I don't want any woman to feel coerced or pressured into making such a life-altering decision. But I do fundamentally believe in adoption - I don't believe, like some people, that adoption is fundamentally wrong, or on some basic level worse then a child being raised by his/her biological parents IF it is done ethically.

I don't think I'm making myself clear, so I'll just post this and see what happens. Isabo, as always thanks for your insightful input. And KarynB I'd LOVE to hear more about your paper!

(And yes, we are in the midst of gathering documents and information and hundreds of dollars to try to find Anabel's first mama. For various reasons, it might be a difficult search, so wish us luck. . .)