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I had a huge problem calling my birthmom, mo, never did alwys called her by her first name.
Had huge difficulty in telling her I loved her, but then again its not something I tell many people easily. My kids get "I love you's" very easily but really no one else.
Just before she died I wrote a letter telling her that I loved her. Most of our reunion was before the internet and I really had no one that I connected enough to to sort it all out.
For me it was VERY difficult to call another mom when my whole life was centerned around one mom and the other mom was really just a dream like person, one day the princess and the next day the villion. thats what happens when there is NO information to be had. When the reunion happended at age 28 I really didn't know what to do with my feelings, what any of them meant, and I had no one to go to. So I just avoided alot and to keep it simple( I had 5 children) I just avoided alot. BMom lived in another stateso I didn't see her often. He would talk on the phone ocassionally and she did come and stay with me for a few daysthe year before she died. Looking back, to be honest, I was the one that kept it moredistant. Not for any nefarious or selfish reason just because it the only way I knew how to deal with it at the time.
With the insight I have today and the maturity I wish she were still here , I think things could be a whole lot differnt.
Such is life.
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