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I am a birthmom who relinquished in late November of last year. The birthfather constantly questioned my decision and was struggling with the adoption plan. Many times, he approached me saying that he wanted me to sign my rights over to HIM completely. At times like these, I had to explain the reasons why I felt adoption would be best. I wanted my baby to have two parents who were in a stable and committed relationship. I knew that I wouldn't have enough time for him because I'm still in college and working, and the same was true for his birthfather. Those were the big ones.

In your post, you said that you were having problems coming up with these "WHY" reasons. It might help if you take a while to envision the kind of future life you want for this baby. Think back to how your other children have been raised. Which parts of their lives do you think have happiest for you and for them, and then ask yourself if you can offer those same things for this new life. It's so hard to think of WHY, when all you have is this feeling in your heart of what you think is right. But, please, do try to communicate something to your husband, as that might make him more comfortable with an adoption plan. I don't remember if you mentioned anything about counseling, but your family may benefit from this. My counselor was invaluable to me, and I love and admire her so much. Hope I've helped. You and your family are in my prayers!

-Jennifer