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I really feel like you will not be able to "force" her to have a relationship she isn't ready to have. You might need to finesse this a little more smoothly to be successful. I think you can definitely tell her you want her to go, and, together with your other sibling, can tell her that all of you agre on that point... but sometimes if a person is pushed into a corner, they won't back down no matter what. I have a feeling if you tell her on Thursday that you're seeing your sister on Saturday, your Mom may not be ready to go. She may refuse. But she will likely spend all day Saturday wondering what's happening and dying to know...and that might help give her that push to go see her the next time you go.
Of course, you know your Mom the best, so how you approach her is your decision. Just think about yoru ultimate goal and the best way to achieve it.
And I agree 100% she must provide the name of the father. It's just plain wrong not to. I can only think of one situation when it wouldn't be wrong, and that's if she was raped and doesn't know. Horrible to think of, but it is a possibility.
I really wish you well with this and hope your Mom can find some peace...and hopefully the truth will come out.
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