[ChristieS]

Peanuts, My situation is clearly not typical, but then again I'm not sure there is such a thing as a "typical" OA.

Please be aware of what has happened to me so as to protect yourself.

We adopted at birth. Birthmom withdrew two separate consents, then consented again with a legally enforceable visitation "Agreement." Birthmom was underage. She was therefore not held to the terms of the contract but we were.

She then used the contract to file numerous motions against us, to include: recission of the adoption, fraud, a dependency petition to have our child placed in foster care (she was in jail), etc. Ridiculous, slanderous, lying, libelous accusations which caused us more money than we gross in a year and has kept the adoption from being "permanent" for 6 years.

SHE did not show for the first visit - we DID - and she filed against us because the first visit did not occur. HUH???????????

She can STILL take us back to court on all of the above outstanding motions and any others she might be in the mood for. (Oh - and did I mention she gets free legal services?)

PLEASE - PLEASE - protect yourself from this sort of nightmare. Hearing the phone ring, walking to the mailbox, fearing every knock on my door -- it is so scary and painful I will NEVER be the same again.

In the beginning I was ALL FOR OA. I was the one who approached her about it and encouraged it.

This is *NOT* to discourage you. There are many successful open adoptions. But I also never want anyone to experience what I have gone through for the last six years.

Best wishes for you,

C