[RavenSong]

I never had the honor of knowing Cindy, but her tragic story just tears me up inside. I read about her a few months ago over at the Mothers in Exile website, and just reading her story made me walk around in terrible sadness for days.

We don't talk much about the subject of suicide among birthmothers here. But it is a very real and documented risk. I read a peer-reviewed journal article a couple months ago that stated there is a 20-percent higher suicide rate for birthmothers during the first 10 years following relinquishment. (I'm sorry I can't cite the source right now; I know I have the article stored somewhere on my computer, but I can't seem to find it. I tried to Google it just now, but I'm not having any success.)

I rarely talk about it, but I do have some personal experience in this area. Let's just say it's an absolute miracle that I'm alive today. According to the physicians who attended me back in 1976, when my son was 4 years old, there is no medical explanation why I survived a particularly lethal suicide attempt.

The grief and the depression can be overwhelming for some birthmoms. And when I think of how Cindy was lied to by her daughter's adoptive mother (whom I'm sure made tons of money on her book), it makes me feel very ill inside.

So, I will light a candle tonight at midnight in honor of Cindy. And I will say a prayer for all of the birthmothers of this world....