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I wouldn't contact your daughter behind amom's back. That puts your daughter in a bad position and it isn't fair to her. Call amom.
Also, my kids were very up and down about their relationship with bfamily. If mom had contacted them before they were ready, I don't think they would have pursued a relationship with her as adults-based on what they said and their personalities.
She is still 16. If you go behind amom's back, you ruin the relationship with the aparents. That certainly will make thing hard on your daughter, even as an adult. I think letting amom know how your are feeling would be a better place to start. She gave you numbers to call. It doesn't sound like she's wanting to prevent you from having a relationship. At this point, you don't know if the resistance is amom, adad, or your daughter.
While waiting must be murder, I would think hard before contacting your daughter behind amom's back.
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