[pattybeagley]

I really felt excited to join in on this discussion with birthmom Lori (Hello!) You know it was just tonight that my 6 year old son pulled a large scrapbook off my shelf in my closet with his name on it and wanted to look through it. It was filled with letters between me and his birthmother. I told him that he could look thru it for now but we would read it together when he was a little bit older. He wanted to see it cause it has his name on it and it is the most beautiful scrapbook out of all of them (besides his brothers is beautiful too!) Our two sons (both adopted thru LDS Family Services) have always known that they came to us in answer to ours and their birthparents prayers. We felt very fortunate to be able to meet both of their birthmothers and (grand)parents and were actually chosen by them to be our sons' parents. We know each others first names but not last names or where we live or work, etc. I'm pretty sure that is standard now within the church. I think we took our sons pictures at the Kiddie Kandids photo studio 10 times within the first year so our birthmoms had a nice clear picture plus a ton of snapshots. With our first son, we could send pictures for the first 12 months with letters, etc. and then after that it is a letter each year on his birthday. Our second son's adoption was different in the way that we still got to send pictures and letters up to 12 months, but we also got to send one photo along with his 2nd and 3rd birthday letters AND we also got to have a picture of his birthmom in the hospital holding him and a seperate photo of his birthdad for him. Our sons are 19 months apart so things had changed within the 19 months for those differences. I know that all the adoptive parents that I know have an intense passionate place in their hearts for their children's birthmothers. I'm sure that with each placement and situation that not all meet each other or perhaps don't send as many pictures or letters but it is really up to the birthparents and adoptive parents. I'm really not even sure that now with our sons being 6 and 4 years old that they even "screen" the letters we send. I so badly want our sons to be able to meet their birthmom and dads that I really have to step back and see what they want to do and their birthmoms. That's whats so great about the Registry. It is much easier to connect. I was told that at the age of 18 years old they can sign it but both adoptive child and birthmoms or dads need to sign the Registry to have the contact information. Semi open adoptions are the most popular now because they protect privacy but also allow for openness in what really counts...face to face meeting and photos and letters as the child get older but both parties are allowed to live their lives without alot of complications. When ever I meet a birthmom, I just honor and cherish her for her decision because I know and my family knows what great love and sacrifice goes into making such a selfless decision for this child. In my opinion, they are apart of our family either way. Lots of love to you! Patty