Hi Blue,
I think your mother-in-law put you in a very terrible position in the first place. She tried to make you a hostage to her secret. You know, your husband's adoption impacts not only him, but you and your children, should you choose to have any. I have a dear friend whose father was adopted and never told. His wife knew, her mother-in-law told him shortly after they were married. He found out when he was 73, and was broken-hearted that every one he loved in his life knew but didn't tell him. I imagine that this is true in your husband's life too, everyone who loves him has lied to him.
Be strong for him. Telling him his truth is the most loving thing you could do for him.
(I found out I was adopted when I was 36, after my parents died. My whole family knew.)
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Originally Posted by blue37
Hello everyone,
Since I don't know for what he is going Through his feelings and thoughts, your experience may help me to help him.
I have been married for 4 years, yesterday I told my husband that I knew he was adopted and he needed to know about that. He is in such pain and now I feel so sad and kind of guilty for that. I took me to long to decide if I should tell him or not...I spoke with his adoptive mother ( I really think she hates me) to please talk to him and put that in the open...she didn't and I felt it was my duty/obligation as a wife to let him know about that. his adoptive father passed away couple years ago and nothing happened back then. I was afraida that his amother could die and she never told him. anyway.. Now my husband knows and he is really hurt, he told me that sometimes is better to be blissfully ignorant, it wasn't my thing to tell... my mother in law doesn't know that I told him.
so now what.....
if there is anyone who can help us, I love my husband and I want to support him but I don't know how.
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