[aclee]

and that is completely understandable. I just want to say that I took the time to write those posts to you in support of you and the problems you are up against. I was trying to help you think of some of the issues that might be causing amom to give you the run around. For you to have read all that and to come out with:


"It's interesting, it sounds like you are saying that for her not to follow up, it makes her scared about my intentions and makes her confused about her role, and that is to be expected, but my not following up makes me possibly "disconnected" and therefore maybe shouldn't have contact. What is the difference? Both will affect DD negatively. I'm not thrilled about the double standard, and I'd like to work through it, but I'm not given a chance."

That paragraph right there? I makes me want to cry and ask myself why I even bother. I never implied that YOU were disconnected. If you don't like the term fine, but I referred to *A* disconnect, as in two or more people who are not longer connecting or communicating. I never referenced any one person as disconnected or distant. I also never said that her disconnect vs your disconnect was any different, or should be thought of differently. I didn't even know who, how or why it happened the first time so I was suggesting A) if you just walked away the 1st time with no warning or communication then maybe she was scared it would happen again. OR B) if communication broke down, or failed on their end, maybe she was hoping that if she did that again you would "go away". I can't honestly find anywhere where I said anything even remotely like there was any reason you shouldn't have contact. I think I encouraged you to make contact and skip over amom didn't I? Even you did walk away all on your own before, you still have the right to clearer contact than you are getting now.

I also don't see anywhere where I justified or rationalized what she was doing or feeling was correct? I was trying to help you solve a problem. Suggestions and ideas do not equal an excuse.

I was attempting to be supportive...believe me, I wasn't trying to set a double standard or rationalize in anyway that what was happening was correct or right, I was just trying to give you more ideas to see if there might have been something you hadn't thought of, that you could say/do to ease her mind and move forward toward the relationship you want. That's all.

Good Luck!