totally random question that I can't believe I don't know the answer to, but...is there a dad? I always here you mention amom, but is she the only one?
Also, you have said before that DD has several adopted siblings, none of whom have open adoptions or positive bparent stories (I think I remember you saying this...I could be wrong). It may be that with the kids all older and more aware than when they were all young, and part of DD's reticence may be some sort of solidarity with her silblings, not wanting to have a different situation that they can't have, or just having picked up on the bparents=bad vibe in general.
Of course, none of this addresses amom's conduct. We could guess all day why, but it's impossible to know. Suffice it to say, whatever she may be struggling with (and I understand the struggle- I really do), it's just wrong to say one thing and do another, to make promises you don't intend to keep, to evade and ignore, to dismiss and placate.
I'm with the group voting for a cheerful accepting of her (implied) invitation to call. I think email can keep you not entirely real, still removed and is easy to misinterpre t or put off replying. Let her hear you SAY what you've been saying all along, but let her
hear you say it. I'm hoping it might make a difference.
Also, when you ask a question on the phone, it's a totally different thing than asking in an email.
