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knttygirl,
I can't imagine how confusing this must be for you. I do know that as an adoptee that very last thing that I would want to happen is for anyone...and I mean anyone..is.to get hurt. I found out years later that my half brother was upset with birthmother for not telling him about me. I felt horrible because as I said I did not want anyone to get hurt. When my birth mother told mehe was upset she told me not to worry because it wasn't my problem and it really wasn't but...I didn't want to see anone hurt.
I don't think you are being selfish by not being happy for her, you are confused, upse and may feel betrayed? She really has the burden of giving ALL her children some time t adjust tothis situation. Thats the problem with one person keeping secrets...it bounces around to hurt everyone else.
I do beleive your mother will come around but its going to take time. There is lots of things happening here emotionally, with you, your newly found half sister and your mother. She is probaly unable to see at this time how self absorbed she really is being. She gave birth, lost that child and now has found that person..all growed up.
lots of stuffed pain and insecurity will be coming to the surface. She will be responsabile for processing all that but may need support from you and the rest of the family, your half sister may be going threw the same thing but from a differnt angle...don't forget this women has been brought up to be someones elses daughter and has all those issues to sort out. Then there is the grandchildren issues...yikes....
The thing is the position you hold in the family will not change. you are the oldest in your raised family that will never change, just like your half sister can be totally the daughter of your mother as she was not raised by her....she was raised by another mother.
Things really need to be taken slowly. The emotion you are feelng is just at the surface right now..the deeper feelings will come out with your mother and half sister. It might get rough, it may not..but if everyones trys to respet the others feelings and make an attempt to understand..that includes your mothers feelings in terms of how you are feeling....thing may go smoother.
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