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Good ideas. Punishment v Discipline
I think you've got some wonderful suggestions here...the very things I'd suggest to parents with whom I work, so I won't bother repeating anything.
I would like to underscore the point that discipline is NOT about punishment. Punishment is about retribution, discipline is to teach and often involves natural consequences (see Foster Cline's excellent book, Parenting Children with Love and Logic). So, it does NOT matter if the consequences are liked or not by the child. If a child (with attachment problems) wastes your time, having the child do a chore you were going to do so that you are not angry about the wasted time is a good consequence. It does not matter if the child likes or does not like the chore.
What helps children heal is maintaing a healing PLACE (being playful, loving, acceping, curious, and empathic). The structure provides safety and security so that the loving gets in, so to speak.
Regards
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Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman
Adoptive Parent
Specialist in Adoption and Foster care issues.
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