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Our daughter's firstmom requested a VERY open adoption and then after 6 months backed out. Haven't heard from her in over 5 yrs.
Is it right??? I didn't think so at the time. I begged her to keep in contact. I was saddened when she no longer felt that she could commit to the open relationship with her daughter and family.
I did however know that she was doing all that she could and gave all that she had to give at that time. She was not prepared to watch someone else raise her child and watch them make decisions that were maybe different than what she would choose. She was not prepared for the anger that would come out of her, not directed to anyone in particular, just raw anger. She needed space. Now I'm not sure if it is still that raw for her, or if she has slipped into a denial and just doesn't deal with it. She has told her other children that our daughter does not exist and they never had a sister. (Her sister was 5 at the time and remembers-she is not allowed to speak of our daughter)
I think maybe emotionally it took her to a place she just can't go to right now. I believe she will change her mind about contact some day. I hope she can find peace. I do not blame her for pulling away, but wish it did not have to be that way.
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