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You've gotta talk it out. Just like I would hope an aparent would use closing an adoption as a last resort after all comunication has failed, I would say it's the same for a b parent. The whole premise of an open adoption is communication, and I think it's unfair when EITHER party closes something without communication and without trying to resolve those issues that might lead to the door to close.
My OA closed when I didn't know how to communicate my feelings, and my pulling back wasn't questioned. It's hard to look back and know that communicating on either side could have led to things staying open. Which is why I try my hardest to communicate now.
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"I don't know if I could go through it all again
For what's the point if you are never free to say
This is what I believe
This is a part of me
No hero, no regrets
But only meant to be"
-T'Pau 
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