|
Kakuekl, I was not allowed to touch my daughter in the hospital. The staff acted like I had the plague. It was gratifying to see my beautiful daughter in the nursery, and having people around me commenting on what a beautiful child she was. And at the same time asking why she was separated from the other babies. I only wish now that I had had the nerve to be demanding back then, but I was raised to follow orders and not question anything.
The time that I was allowed to see my daughter for 5 minutes was before the adoption, my mother and I went to the adoption office, and we were able to spend a few minutes with her. My mother held her more than me, I was afraid to hold her for too long, fearing that I would never let her go.
Echox, I am hoping that this is the year that I am able to pay CHS to search for my daughter. I have been a single parent raising two children for what seems like forever. My only salvation was to get rid of the husband that I had, and now that the youngest will be out of college in 1 month or so, maybe I will have the $500 to search. I have made some horrible decisions over my lifetime, and at the same time I have allowed people to make decisions for me.
I never wanted my daughter placed, but was forced by my parents. My mother on her deathbed did tell me that they should never have forced me, maybe I would have been happier. Darn right I would have been happier, my daughter would be with me. I honestly didnt want to marry her father, but back in 1975 things were so different. I would have married him if thats what it would have taken to keep her. Her fathers parents dont know about our daughter yet. I would like to find her so that they can meet her before they pass away. Our families have know each other since I was 6 months old, and hopefully they dont have a heart attack, or kill me when they find out about another grandchild.
And you are so right, ALL adoptees deserve an answer. Whether its to explain why we couldnt keep you, or about the conception, etc.
|