[doinit4me]

Last week was a very emotional week for me. In a matter of days, I found where my bmom is. A few days later I found out that I had a half sister and then found out shortly after that she'd passed away at 16. That was sad.
I've known for 18 years that I had a half brother who was 4 years older than me. A day or so after finding out about my half sister, I got my brother's name, only to find out that he too passed away suddenly 2 years ago. That loss hit me much harder. I think because I was aware of him for so long, even if I didn't actually know him. He had a wife and 4 kids. I'm really thinking of contacting them but don't know if I should wait until I've contacted my bmom.
I just want to know him. To find out what he was like. I always pictured meeting him and having that bond. I knew going into this that it would be hard. I just didn't think that it would have hit me like this. In some way he has been apart of my life for a long time even though we've never met. I guess I'm just not sure how to process all this. At least the dh didn't get weird with me for being so upset about "someone I didn't even know". For once, he didn't say a word, just gave me a hug. Sometimes they suprise you!
Lori