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When my son use to talk back or argue, I would say simply "what did I say?" let them repeat it, then say "good" and move on with whatever I was doing.
Children with too many accidents get time in. "I'm sorry your having so much trouble, lucky for you, I will let you stay right here with me so I can help you avoid those accidents.
I also think the routine is a good idea. My 6 year old gets up, dressed, and cleans his room before breakfast every morning.
(He does this on his own now that he's use to the routine).
I believe being consistant with the rules, but varing the consequences for children who are openly diffiant. This prevents them from weighing wether smacking their brother is worth the consequence. Natural consequences are always best. (Foster Cline, Parenting with love and logic)
When smaller kids become aggressive, I always pick them up and rock them. A lot of times they're feeling very insecure and can't express that well. They are sometimes resistant to being held, but the eventual calmness usually lasts several hours.
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