[susanasully]

Hi there! I'm an adult adoptee in reunion with my BMom for over 7 years. I have not yet searched for BFather, for many reasons.

I am compiling a list of things to think about and/or do before searching (could be a potential article... imagine if I got it published?). I'm primarily aiming this list at adult adoptees, but I suspect some of the same things might apply to birthparents searching for their birthchildren.

Here are a few items straight out of my head. I appreciate any comments and suggestions!

1. Read reunion stories - find books in your local library, on Amazon, and in online forums like this.
2. Talk to your adoptive parents and adoptive family members - you may be surprised at how much helpful information they have, and they may be a source of emotional support.
3. Write down what you hope the result of your search will be - medical info only? A relationship? Personal information about why you were placed for adoption?
4. Think about the image you have of your birthparents - what do you imagine about their life, their reasons for placing you for adoption? Now, imagine you find out the story is completely different - how might that make you feel?
5. Prepare for rejection - sometimes, birthfamily members just are not ready for contact.
6. Assemble a support system - searching ain't for the faint of heart. Don't go it alone.
7...... Help me out here!