[SomeBunniesMom]

Melissa,
Of course you want your son's growing up experiences to be as close to perfect as possible, and it's sometimes hard to accept that not everything will always be exactly the way you would imagine it should be. The truth is that his parents are not perfect people, but my guess would be they are doing their best for him. There are so many new things being discovered about adoption and the adoptees experience, no one person could possibly know how to get everything just right. We are learning as we go. Your son has been entrutsted to his family to raise him. His family will make mistakes sometimes. Somtimes they will do things that could have been done differently or better, but this is his family, and although you gave him the wonderful gift of his life and genetics, he will also be a product of their influence, customs, and parenting styles. This is a good thing. And this is how it should be.

I can appreciate that this upsets you and I can appreciate that you read in order to understand as much as you can of his experince, but this is something that you have no control over. You need to keep your faith in his family and trust that he is loved and being raised in a good manner and that he will be fine.

All of our parents, adopted or not, have made mistakes in our raising. Most of us are able to come to terms with those mistakes and we are not seriously damaged by our parents lack of information as to how to have raised us in a better way.

If this continues to be upsetting to you, please consider sending a copy of the book to his family along with perhaps a few other books that you have found helpful. By sending several different books, you may make a much more subtle statement,than you would by sending only the book with the information that has caused you so much concern.

In any event, you are a wonderful person to have such strong love and concern for your son and his family. Have trust. It will all be ok.