[kune]

Hi Sarah

I looked it up in the dictionary -
Family (n) = A group of persons sharing common ancestry.
To me, Your family (adj) ...I would describe as competitive - Each trying hard to be top of the pecking order.

.. my son is being constantly put aside and compared to this child.

Not your problem....he's No 1 in your world and that's all he needs to feel.

I don't even consider the child my sons cousin as he is with an amazing family and will be so much better off.

Do you consider child your nephew? I can assure you that as a young adult he will wonder if his first family ever think of him as part of theirs.

.. but at this point they will not be having a relationship as i am losing my patience and want to protect my son from them and their disregard for his and my feelings

Retribution is very harmful.
No matter what, family is what secures us to this world. It's where we come from, where we learn behaviours and principles, who we turn to when things get tough, and the first people we share our joy with too. Good or bad traits learned from childhood we, in turn, pass onto our children...who do the same. If you want a better life for your son, you need to consciously change your own family values - you can't change that what has been before but you can show him you value your family even if they are difficult sometimes. Life isn't a competition - and should be lived the best way we know how without causing pain to others. In the years to come he will treat you similarly to how you now treat your own mother....so keep that in mind when you are questioning whether to be part of the mother/daughter relationship

it will be hard for me as so many emotions are behind this

Sarah If you didn't love them, there would be no problem. You could walk away. But love doesn't mean you have to agree with them either. You need to respect their right to thoughts and choices - but agree to disagree.

my sister does not even respect the Parents decision to name him something else.

Not your problem - you can't change it and as a birthmother from way back, I know your sister is hurting. She needs support and I think you are "big enough" to forget your hurt feelings and be the caring sister she needs at the moment instead of the judge.

Ann