[Oceans]

I'm with Paige and TG. The aparents would have been the last people I showed my grief to.

aallen: Remember, you can build a relationship with your daughter's birthmom that is separate from your daughter. Of course, talk about DD milestones etc. but I would also ask her about her life. How's work, school, family etc. That way you're building a friendship - KWIM?

Don't feel guilty. Since I'm not in an OA, this may not be good advice but in my real life, I would rather someone come out and ask me directly "how I'm feeling", than walk on eggshells or assume I am feeling a certain way... So there's another option. Maybe you could just come out and ask her..