[RavenSong]

I never even heard of Birthmother's Day until I joined the forums here. From what I understand, it was created in 1990 by a group of birthmothers in Seattle. I've been reading about it on the Internet today, and there's something about it that just doesn't set right with me. I think I much prefer being honored or acknowledged on Mother's Day.

In the 18 years that have elapsed since I reunited with my son, he has usually (not always) honored me with a card on Mother's Day, as well as a phone call. When I first met him, he told me that he had often secretly thought about me on Mother's Day during his childhood and would offer up a prayer on my behalf. I feel badly that as a child from the closed era of adoptions, my son had to keep his feelings and thoughts about his birthparents to himself; he feared that his parents would feel badly or angry with him if they knew he ever thought about me at all. Looking back, I don't think they would have been upset with him, but he was raised in that atmosphere of closed adoptions and was fearful of rocking the boat.

The first gift I ever received from my son was on Mother's Day. He was only 17 years old, about a year before we reunited. It was a beautiful framed photograph that his parents had taken of him that year. His parents were the ones to take the gift and Mother's Day card to the adoption agency, where the post-adoptions caseworker then mailed it on to me. When I opened the package, I could see that his mom had spent a lot of time in wrapping the package (it was awesomely wrapped!!). I've always been very grateful to his parents for doing that for me. It was a very healing, joyous occasion. It was also the very first Mother's Day that I had ever been acknowledged as being a mother at all.