[aallen25]

This is something I wonder about with DD's birth mom. She has shown no sign of grief or pain when with us, not that I expect her to email me concerning her feelings post adoption, or leave visits with tears in her eyes but she seems completely fine when around us. Not knowing exactly how she feels I find myself feeling so uncomfortable with post placement visits. I tend to walk on eggshells so as not to upset her or add to any pain she may be feeling. I feel the need to just give her DD at visits and stay in the background as if too much interaction between myself and DD would be like rubbing the situation in her face. That might sound dumb but that's how I feel at times. We had a relationship before placement so we've talked about family members and at our last visit I found myself telling her a story about my nephew. During the story I shared that he no longer refers to me as Aunt Alicia but now I'm Shiloh's mommy. After saying that I felt so guilty for referring to myself as mommy in front of her. I know that's what I am, but again I don't know how sensitive she is to all of this and I don't want to say anything to upset her or add to her pain. I feel like I am being overly sensitive to her but because I don't know how she feels I don't know what to do!