[jeeepgirl]

In Oct. 2004 my husband and I went to court with his son and wife to discuss custody of C.H., my husbands sons child. At that time, his bio. parents were willing for us to take custody due to that fact they were not caring for him in any way, shape or form. At that time, C.H. was 10 mths. So at that time we did not feel the need to mention in court that we thought they were using drugs, etc. The judge granted temporary custody, but in essence stipulated that the parents could petition the court any time to regain custody. This is in Virginia by the way.

So 3 1/2 years have passed and he is now 4 years old. he has been with us since. His Bio. mother lives in Ohio, has had another child and we believe has released the custody of that child to a relative. She has not seen or talked to C.H. in almost 2 years. His bio. father lives in a nearby town and saw C.H. at his birthday party in January, but averages short visits once every 3 months. Neither parent has offered support, either monetarily or emotionally.

About 6 months ago, bio. father expressed that he may be interested in signing adoption paperwork to get things started. So we took on the scary task of contacting bio. mom to see if she would sign. Our attorney then sent paperwork to her, she promptly signed in front of a notary and returned it to us. Then bio. father decided he did not want to sign. "He was just not ready." Even though he has had 2 dui's, no place to live and was recently fired from job. Our attorney then stated if we attempted contested adoptions "it would be opening a can of worms."

My question is there anything we can do to adopt this little boy, or at least to make his future more permanent than temporary custody? Can we terminate one parents rights and leave the other open until a later date? We have another child after him biologically and they are very close. It would break them both if he was taken, and the longer time that goes by the worse that would be.

Thanks for any input.

Cnth