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Getting Help
Schools don't want to test because it costs them money to provide the services your child needs. Once the child has been labeled with 'Learning Disabilities', under FEDERAL law, the school has to educate the child to the best of the child's ability. Since the Feds do not fully fund the mandate, it can be very expensive for schools in tight budget times. Actually, having your child labeled as LD puts you as the parent in charge.
Having been through this with my son, now nearly 24, and going through it now with my daughter, nearly 10, I have some suggestions.
First, I would do a complete medical work-up, especially an eye exam and hearing test. My son was diagnosed with ADD between 4th and 5th grades, but that didn't seem to clear up all the learning and behavioral issues. Between 5th & 6th, we also found out that he needed glasses! If the child has a hearing or visual deficit, they are probably totally unaware because it either came on gradually or was always there. Additionally, these kids are less likely to want to display weakness, and saying they can't see or hear may be something that the child perceives as their fault. Also have a complete physical, including lab work, to rule out any underlying health issue of which you may be unaware. It's also a good idea to have your child evaluated for underlying psychological issues such as depression. Children can manifest depression, grief, anger, etc. in very different ways than adults.
I don't know where you are from, but many states have advocacy organizations to help parents navigate the IEP/504 process.
Do NOT let the school off the hook. On more than one occasion I have showed up at the Superintendent's office unannounced to make my point. This method doesn’t allow the school authorities to have all their little duckies lined up – they have to deal with you right then and there. While putting things in writing is important for legal reasons, it gives the school much more time to formulate their response.
Remember, you have to be the lioness/lion advocate for your niece. No one else will do it, and the schools will fight you. Do NOT think that the school has the child’s best interests in mind – that is not necessarily true. Be firm, be calm, but be persistent and resolute. My husband and I have developed the tag-team method. When I've reached the end of my rope, he deals with it, and vice versa. Also it helps to have in mind exactly what it is you want the school to do, and have something that you are willing to negotiate away to give everyone an opportunity to ‘win’.
Hope this helps!
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