Butterfly2008
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I wish I could go back in time. Communicate more effectively my needs and be sensitive to the couple during their transitional period as well.
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I think this is one of the main things that trip us up.. wanting to go back in time and change things..
It can not be done.. and I think of all the emotions we have when we wish for something that has already gone down..
I think this is why the twelve step program says.. Stay in the day.. stay in the moment..
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I burnt the bridge long time ago by raging against a-mom and all the things I dealt with behind closed doors. I raged with no remorse-and frankly am red faced at how adamant I was in trying to expose this woman for all the hurt she caused(all the lies she told,all the facts she purposely distorted). In the end, it did me absolutely no good,and just gave her 'proof' to others how bad I was!
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Forgive yourself.. is what I suggest.
You were in grief.. and when we are in grief we say and do things we would not normally do..
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I guess to answer your question Jackie, My ego can take a shoot kicking,but my heart just wouldn't be able to handle dealing with the couple's personality types.I just can't open myself up after all the hurt in the past to trust them again regardless of everyone's good intentions. It's just like a couple who get together and they're good people alone,but bring them to one another and they become Gremlins: 
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And this is the fact of the thing.. accepting what we can not change.. that is where the freedom is..
Accepting it and then working within that acceptance..
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Psst,sorry for the late response,I just got my strength back from dealing with food poisoning!
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That must have been painful.. I hate getting sick..
Jackie