[DCMomLady]

UncleMaybeDad, here are a few things you might want to think about:

There is a possibility that bioD may use the Putative Father Registry to declare and establish his parental rights. I think fathers that do that must consent to a TPR and adoption. And I think he can prevent you from taking the child out-of-state. I'm sure there are others here who have experience with the Registry and may tell you more about its use and the problems they've had circumventing it.

As for the step-niece, I don't know that I would place my confidence in her wavering plans to place her daughter with you. Remember, she told you before child 1 and child 2 that she was thinking of placing them with you -- but she didn't, did she? She didn't place the newborn with you a month ago and I think that also indicates she is strongly considering keeping and raising her new daughter, too.

I wouldn't buy furniture and I'm not sure I'd go there and put pressure on her to make a decision. That may be seen as manipulation or coersion and that is where future legal (and psychological) problems may come from.

In cases that proceed with all legal protections for all parties, the adoption is usually a done deal when it's finalized. No one can interfere after that; although some states do have a brief waiting period after finalization just in case there are second-thoughts about it.

One last thought, a comfortable life and good income do not necessarily mean you are ready and able to parent an infant. My husband and I became first-time parents when we adopted my great-niece. We experienced a real awakening when we brought her home. In fact, five years later, I still have moments when I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility.