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Sweet Pea,
I know exactly how you feel - I was there last July. My heart was in my throat when I called .... and got his voice mail. I left my number and he called me back when he got back in town, several days later. When he called, I was really involved in a work issue so it was a real surprise and I wasn't afraid at all when I heard his voice. He was much more nervous than I was.
I didn't have a check list ... but he did (he is an engineer by training). So I got the basics out of the way on the first call - medical, current family, resume, how he felt being contacted by bmom, next steps, etc. It took several visits and our f2f to get the story of how he felt during that time 50 years ago when I was born. There is some written about bmoms (in unwed mothers homes) but not much about bfathers - that knew and acknowledged responsibility at the time. I wanted to know his side too.
The good news is that he wants contact - and that he is probably more scared that you are. So have a check list but I found it was very hard to get deep thoughts and feelings on the first call. Also, this will probably be as healing for him as it has been for you and bmom. As Nike says, "Just do it". Maybe the answers you want are right there waiting for you.
Good luck. I hope your reunion with bdad is much better than you can imagine. I know mine is.
Jill
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