[Oceans]

Dang - So the agency is out for pictures. Have you searched MySpace? I don't like it for contact but it might be a place to see a picture. Keep in mind, she may have a tracker on her page and can see whose been lurking (not by name).

She is 18 - Do you know if she is out of high school yet. For me 18 and out of High School is more of the adult "milestone" than just 18...

Again, consider my mood today, which is quite straight forward but...

Take sometime and think about what you are willing to risk. There is a part of me that thinks you should ask straight up, what is she planning on doing - telling or not. That's easy for me to say, but I have nothing at stake... You do.

If amom says she isn't going to tell, well then I think you back up for awhile and let it go. At least until she is out of HS (if that's the case). Then come up with a plan so that the next time, you have direct contact. If you contact right away (directly) you WILL alienate amom (but you know that).

If you aren't willing to risk another 6 months to a year of no contact, then I guess you continue a "light" relationship with amom BUT I would tread lightly and not have too much contact. At 18, I would have been upset if my bdad was talking too much (maybe at all?) to my parents, about me, behind my back. I think I would have been more upset with my parents than bdad but you never know...

Wish I had better advice for you.... hang in there..