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I am a bmom and I think that if the children are adults that it is ok to contact them. You are not responsible for anyone else's behavior, just be respectful and I would send a letter, she could open her email anywhere, which could make it difficult for her.
I also disagree with the golden rule. As I have gotten older realized that the Platinum rule is the one to live by " Treat people not how you want to be treated, but how they want to be treated" Could be very different for every person.
Just MHO.
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