[Mkuhlmann06]

First, each kid is different, so I don't know what to tell you about this 11 yr old boy you are considering. We adopted an 11 yr old boy that was in therapeutic foster care, had been in forster care for 8 years, with 15 different placements. He was place separately from his brothers and sisters (most of them were placed separately). The main behaviors we have seen are lying, stealing, and negative attitude towards school work and home work. He has no learning disabilities, is not on an IEP (and doesn't need to be), he's smart, bright, caring, funny, sweet, etc. But he has a lot of history and experience with being sneaky (lying, stealing, covering up). My son was ODD and mood disorder when we adopted him... just 4 months later, they've removed those diagnosis and gave him ADHD, but no attentional issues are associated (its for the lack of organization and the impuslivity to lie/steal). He's never been on meds.

Im not a big fan of bringing in an older child with your younger kids, that has been around the system his whole life. Im not even concerned with sexual or physical abuse, but my son has been very adamant he isn't able to get away with as much stuff due to the lack of other kids not being around (especially younger).

Im not saying to not pursue it -- only you know what will be right for your family. But please make sure you are familiar with all his history and current issues.

Good luck and keep us posted.