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WhiteTiger07, I have been in an OA and my bchild is 17 and trust me they will grow up to know who you are without the need for the mother title. I have always been called by my first name which is what we all wanted at the beginning but bchld knows I am her bmother. I would focus more on what you do with your bchild on visit. ie getting down on the floor and playing with her/him every time you get a visit, as bchild gets older send little cards, stickers, photos etc stuff that they will remember in the long term rather than worrying about details with the aparents. My bchild's parents are THE PARENTS, there is no confusion after years of visits etc over that role and during the teenaged years I can see, feel that even more so. It's tough to accept but adoption is forever. The aparents are the parents forever and we bparents just have to accept and live with that and pray that the aparents are loving and do their best. In my situation that is what has happened and I am grateful for that...I don't stress over the little things anymore. BTW it is tough I think for the first 3-5 years in an OA for both sides to settle in to their rrelationship with each other. My only advice is to focus on our bchild. Also I hear other people picking up and using the nicknames I have for my kept children.
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