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Originally Posted by Scatterbrain
I agree with the need for ME to be present and a part of the therapy especially in the beginning. For the whole first year I stayed a part of the therapy and did not leave DS's side. Now that he is exploring deeper personal issues I often step out and leave them to deal with emotions and feelings that he may not be able to process if I am in the room.
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If this works for you and your child, great. The only "choice" we sometimes give R during therapy is whether he wants to have Dad hold him or Mom....sometimes, depending on the issue, it's not his choice, but we are always present. It's about attaching to Mom and Dad, it's about trust...the child being able to heal enough and grow to believe that mom and dad will love them no matter what they've been through or what they tell them. The relationship that needs to be worked on is the one with the parents, not the therapist. I don't believe the child has a "right" to any secrets, if healing is truly going to happen...besides, without mom or dad present, that still sets the stage for triangulation. The few times we haven't been in the room we watched (and heard) everything going on with a video system, and came back into the session when the real work started.
Just my opinion....
Fran