[WhiteTiger07]

Last year I had an unplanned pregnancy and decided to give the child up for an open adoption to a family that i spoke with. I did all of the process pretty much on my own with the help of my agency and a few friends but none from my family.

I got a family the day before I gave birth and all seemed to be going well. I signed the papers a couple of days later and well things started to get a little uneasy.

I was very keen on having the adoptive family invovled with as much of the birth process as possible and was so happy that I had found a family.

I had chosen an open adoption because I could not take the fact of not knowing what was going on with the child I gave birth to. I filled out all the appropraite paperwork to have as much contact with the child as I possibly could through the agency.

Then me and the adoptive family decided through verbal agreements that we would have more cantact than that and that I would be refered to as my child's mother until my child decided whether or not she wanted to call me mother or by my first name.

I was completely okay with everything until the past few emails I got from the adoptive mother. She now uses the nickname I had for my daughter and thinks that she wants to use the disney theme that I picked out, so that my daughter would know things that I got her, for a new theme to the nursery. She is using the same disney theme for her first bday party.

The adoptive mother thinks that it is hard for me the refer to the child I had as my daughter and that she is now the child's mother instead of mom like we all argeed on.

I am not to sure on how to approach this because both the adoptive mother and I love the child dearly and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize contact with the child(my daughter)

I also don't know if by me refering to her as my child or daughter is wrong because she technacially is my daughter because I gave birth to her.

It just seems as if the adoptive mother is going back on what we argeed on in the beginning and trying to push me away from the child or make it extemely hard for me to have any connection with the child at all except for biologically.

If some of the birthmothers and adoptive parents could help me out I would really apprecaite it because I am not sure on how to proceed with out making the situation worse and I want to be able to still be invovled in the child's life.

Should I step back and let it go or approach the situation and explain how I feel about everything.

Should I give up titles like mother, my daughter, and the nicknames that I have for her.

I just don't know some one please help any advice that will help me deal with this is greatly appreciated.

thank you