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oh goodness...2 years old and zipping his coat and getting dressed! I think your standards might be a bit high. especially for a child with a traumatic background like his. you should expect inconsistencies and possibly pretty big developmental delays at this point.
i agree with the previous poster that he probably needs babying. he needs reassurance, extra love, and yes, even allowing him to play dumb and recieve extra attention and help. once your bond is solidified, you can work on the other stuff (independant skills). but please don't ignore him anymore, you will only hurt the attachment process.
i would suggest you look up about attachment parenting and possibly seek a therapist for more information.
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