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I guess one thing I can say to you is try to relax! If you're struggling with this then maybe you're not really ready to make decisions and the thing is you don't need to yet. You DO have some time.
A lot of things can change over a short time period.
Don't push yourself!
Professional help sounds like a GREAT idea.
Also, I know you say that your main reason is the two parent home with stability and so on...there are no guarentees.
I'm recently reunited with my birthson and there were so many things I didn't know. His mom didn't stay at home with him at all. I had naively assumed that a couple who had the funds and desire to adopt would have a stay at home mom (ok his dad did a few months and I'm thankful for that). Also, they got divorced! He lucked out and got a great stepmom too!
But, you just don't know!
Take care of yourself. Take a deep breath. I have confidence in you.
((((hugs))))
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