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As an Arkansas parent and former teacher (now staying home with baby and fostering) I think a good age to back off a little is 8th grade.....just before they enter high school.
My son was not ready to take full responsibility for his learning until this year. You will know when your daughter is ready because she will quit coming to you so often and yet her grades will maintain.
I think you and I may be close in distance since I read your "My Page" and saw that you like Ron's Catfish. Would you happen to be in a place hubby and I call Jtown?
Kim
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Wife to:
 DH-J for 5 years
Mom to:
DS-H 14yrs
DS-S 2yrs
Current Placements:
None- my little one going through terrible twos is also about to have a tonsilectomy. Ugh. If you have stories of success please pass them to me. If you have a horror story, please, I don't think I could handle it right now. LOL
Former foster son came this past weekend for his birthday celebration and one last hoorah before school starts. I was happy to see him doing better.
Former placements:
four boys!!
 and FINALLY respite for one baby girl
Aunt to:
11 Nephews......when does the male madness end! 
Mom for McCain 
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