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I'm an adoptee who had a wonderful Mom and Dad, who loved me very much and treated me as their own unconditionally also. I don't need another mom and dad. I'm in a little different place in that my aparents have passed on but my sister found her bmom before they died.
I only wanted to tell my bmom that I was safe and loved and that I'd had a good life, that I was so grateful for the life she had given me, and that she had done the right thing. That is until I was found. During this past year, knowing my bparents, I have been able to say what I needed to say, know the circumstances, and know current medical information for myself and my children. I have also discovered that getting to know them has filled holes in me that I didn't even know I had, answered personal questions that I didn't even know to ask, and given me peace about the person that I am. I am a product of both nuture and nature and now I know it.
None of this has changed who Mom and Dad are and the love I have for them. My bparents have a different place in my life. I saw a thread here that said that bparents gave up the right to parent but they did not give up the truth that they gave birth to a child. You have to do what is right for you and what feels right. Be honest with yourself and honest with all those involved with this. You might also read about reunion to see what others have experienced. One book is the Reunion Handbook.
Good luck with whatever your choice is.
Jill
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Jill I have to say - This is EXACTLY what I am hoping for with my son...I so hope he has never known the "hole" many adopted people do. I also hope he will give he and myself they chance to get to know each other. Your post gave me hope that can happen Thanks!