[Ladybird11]

Thank you for the time you took to reply to my concern. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences.

I can see how learning about where you came from and even what your bmum looks like would be exciting and I am a little curious. I struggle with the thought of contact with bparents for me is like a constant niggling reminder that my mother did not have me and I can see it in her eyes that it is a reminder of perhaps what she would see as an inadequacy.

I can see that maybe my hesitation is driven by my mother's sadness at the thought of the "presence" of my bmum. If my Mum said "Yea, go ahead, send her a letter on a regular basis etc" and she was all cool then I would be more keen on the idea. Even if Mum was cool it is still my opinion that contact causes a disruption. You feel that someone "owns" a small part of you somewhere else and that you are not wholly and solely positioned in your family.

I thank you for your input and as you said I have to reflect and work out what I am most comfortable with.

Thanks again.
Best wishes

M