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someone wrote here on these forums once , that if a mother can have many children and love them equally or in different ways...there is no reason why you should not be able to have your own special relationship with your birthmom without it disrupting the love and relationship with the mom you grew up with in anyway. and there is definitely no reason to "not " to get to know your b-mom just because you don't want to hurt the other. if your mom truly loves and respects you she will not try to influence or discourage you, but would want you to be happy in every way, and not make you feel guilty about it.
and even if it is long distance it may be nice to have a nice writing relationship with her for a while and see where it goes. exchange pictures, find out if you have sisters or brothers, Grandparents, and any medical info, etc...why deny yourself this. this is YOUR life, and YOUR family history.
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