RavenSong
Quote:
|
They then proceeded to strap both my legs and my hands down, and an anesthesiologist appeared out of nowhere with a gas mask. My doctor didn't say a word, just sat down on a stool and started making the episiotomy incision without waiting for the anesthetic to take effect. I tried to fight off the gas mask, but it's kind of hard to do when your hands are strapped down to the table.
|
I am right there with you.. I have a terror of being tied down..
I went to the hospital two weeks overdue.. and the labor stopped and we had given up the motel and I had nowhere to go..
I went into labor and then all memories are gone.. except for one time when I came to in the elevator.. they were taking me for x-rays.. and I made a joke by saying I wanted a picture..
36 hours.. the record says..
Quote:
|
Lifton believes that all members of the triad carry their own ghosts with them. For birthmothers, one of the ghosts is that of her newborn infant. Sometimes it's just hard to reconcile the "ghost" of that infant with the real-life adult son or daughter. This is where that meditation/visualization really helps me, I believe.
|
In another thread I wrote about how some of us are broken by all this.. and was trying to explain why a birthmom would disconnect with her grown up birthdaughter after reunion..
I was thinking yesterday that its like we drown when the connection is made and some of us do not want to go into that drowning.. that emotional emotional place.. its too darn hard.. so Lifton’s ghost theory works.. for me..
Quote:
|
BTW, today is my son's 36th birthday. So today I've been remembering that early morning so long ago. Bittersweet, sad.... But I'm going to be calling him in a couple hours, so now I'm feeling kind of nervous. Wish me luck...
|
A time for you..
How did it go?
Jackie