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Originally Posted by RavenSong
What you're feeling right now is so totally normal in the early stages of reunion. I think it hits all of us sooner or later. I remember the first Christmas I spent with my then 18-year-old son back in 1990. I had taken him to an annual Christmas event, where we met up with friends and family on the seashore. Everybody was having the time of their lives...the weather was perfect, and bonfires were roaring. As I was standing there with my son, I spotted a little boy, maybe 3 years old or so, who was playing down by the water's edge. And suddenly I was consumed with grief...it just washed over me like a huge wave. It was then that I realized I was grieving for my little boy, even though I was standing right there with my armed draped around his shoulders.
Just let yourself feel the grief and sadness...acknowledge it...and let it go. Don't try to bury it inside yourself. There were numerous times during those first couple years of reunion that I felt grief about missing out on his childhood years. The pain lessens a bit each time. Heck, I'm not sure if it evers goes away though. I've been in reunion now for eighteen years, and there are still some days I find myself wishing that I could have had those childhood moments and experiences with my little boy. Sometimes it's hard to look thru my photo album of his childhood pictures. I want to reach right thru those photos, and take him into my lap...to rock him...to sing to him.
One thing that helps me deal with the occasional grief and feelings of loss is by practicing a certain visualization/imagery technique I came up with many years ago. I sit alone in a quiet room, close my eyes, and picture myself sitting in a rocking chair. On my lap, I'm holding my infant (sometimes toddler) son, who reaches up to stroke my face. I inhale his baby smells, and listen to his baby talk. Sometimes I sing a lullabye to him. I don't know why this particular meditation works so well for me, but it does. The sadness always lifts, and I'm left with this feeling of wholeness.  |
When my mom stopped communicating in 2005 after the death of her 24 year old son to brain cancer I felt myself slipping into a fast food/comfort food inundation. I sought out help. Each time you feel depressed take some Omega threes... I'm not a doctor...there are lists and lists of healthy foods out there to help. Liquid vitamins help me balance the nutrition in my body. Depression sucks and it sucks even harder without proper nutrition. We all grieve.
Omni IV with Glucosamine every morning. Charge, Phyto nutrients, and more... gets me through the day helps me function properly with my four children and keeps me hopeful to hear from my mom again.
We have Omni calls every Thursday and Sunday nights...
Listen on the Live Call...Dial :1-218-936-1600 Pass code: 00148# "Live listen in call "10PM Eastern..9PM Central..8PM Mountain..7pm Pacific... call me if your intrested Maria(651)714-4116 and or let em know Maria in Minnesota sent you.