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Is it too late?
My husband and I (both in our sixties) adopted one of our foster children when she was 10. She came into our foster home at age 8 with major grief over her mother's death. Mom used drugs/alcohol extensively. DD was born while Mom was in prison. Mom said she did not know who Dad is. DD had been abused a lot and had been in many homes.
At first, it seemed that she attatched to us easily, though she has always been very demanding and verbally expressive. She uses charm first and if that doesn't work, anger with a quick tongue comes next.
We felt we were making progress until puberty hit. She is cutting, says very openly that she has tried drugs and is generally angry. She tells me I am not her Mom and never will be, that she hates her life and wants to die.
The worst, though is crisis we just went through. We found her walking town streets with boys when she was supposed to be in movies. She screamed at us that she wasn't coming home because Dad (my DH) had raped her!! I knew this wasn't true, but a major police investigation ensued. Charges were dropped because police did not feel she was being truthful. However, she is back with us and angry if she does not get her way. She does not seem to see seriousness of her allegations. Our adult children are very angry and will not allow our grandchildren in our home if she is here. We are torn to pieces because we love her. Any ideas of what we should do?
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