[SupaModel]

This is my first post here. I feel like I need a place to connect with ppl that are going through the same thing as me. My husband and I are hoping to adopt our 1st child. I am AA and he's CA so we're looking for a biracial girl or boy. We're working with a small agency and have a profile online. We started our application on Nov. 4th 2007 and our homestudy was done on Dec. 28th 2007.

What's hard now is we're soooo ready to parents and the days seem so long and emotionally draining. We're getting scams emails from so called birthmom's all the time. Also my agency had said that if we wanted full AA we could basically have a child ASAP. When i'm feeling low I think why can't I just want any child no matter how they look or skin color but when I've always imagined my family the picture in my head has been a biracial child.

I'm scared that if I went full AA that one day i'll have regrets. I'll see other biracial children and think I should have been patient. My husband is very fair skined blonde hair and blue eyes. I think that if we went full AA ppl will think it's my child from another relationship or ask my child who's your real daddy? I know I shouldn't care but I do. I just want this feeling to be over and have my family now. I know ppl wait for years but I feel like mentally i can't survive this wait. Trying to be strong and take this day by day.

I know I been rambling on and on. I'm just hoping to feel better.